Don’t Hate Lebron, Hate ESPN & Kevin Garnett!

Is everybody happy now? The sports fans, media and all of those that despised “The Decision” are all breathing a collective sigh of relief as they wallow in the Dallas Mavericks victory over the Miami Heat. Lebron James may as well have been the guy who slapped Snooki or better yet, George Bush at the height of the Iraqi invasion given the amount of scrutiny Bron Bron has received since last July. I haven’t seen Americans this ecstatic about someone’s demise since the death of Bin Laden. Before Lebron’s effigy is constructed, placed in the town square and set ablaze for the remainder of the summer however, allow me to be the first to tell you all that you suck!

Can someone please explain to me why Lebron is such a terrible person? Because he is considered a superstar? He did not bestow that title upon himself. He actually worked very hard to be considered one of the best basketball players in the world. Is it because he likened himself to Michael Jordan a.k.a. basketball God? He actually never compared himself to Michael Jordan (thanks for that Scotty). He wore MJ’s # in admiration until he officially switched his number and requested that the #23 be retired from the entire NBA forever. So what on earth could it be? Ah yes, it’s the way he made his announcement to play for another team and the ensuing celebration with said team.

That still doesn’t explain the rampant and widespread hatred (at least outside of Cleveland). So then I asked myself certain pertinent questions like;

A) Who stands to benefit the most financially through ratings and advertising revenue from the media backlash?

B) Who is generating the media backlash?

C) Who has a monopoly on the sports commentary market?

D) Who has virtually every sports writer on their payroll and can easily disseminate any message of their choosing?

E) Who facilitated “The Decision” in the first place?

ESPN that’s who! I believe it was game five of the finals when Stuart Scott (ESPN anchor) began the pre game show with a montage of all the criticism Lebron had been receiving for his lackluster performance thus far. This montage consisted of several Sportscenter clips (ESPN program), commentary from Mike and Mike in the Morning (ESPN program), Sports Nation (ESPN program), 1st and 10 (ESPN program) and various other ESPN programs. Does anyone realize that the 24 hour, unilateral sports news cycle feeds on itself and will turn the most insignificant bit of news into a matter of national security? Does anyone care that there are 17 sports analysts and commentators for every sporting event broadcast who need to be compensated for their words of wisdom? Does anyone realize that public interest generates revenue so the more interest that is manifested, the higher the bottom line? Apparently not.

As for the fans whose sole (and quite frankly, lame) rational for not liking Lebron encompassed how he made the announcement, consider the following possibilities; If Lebron would have gotten on stage that fateful July 8^th and announced that he isn’t going anywhere or that Dwayne Wade is coming to Cleveland, no one would’ve cared how he did it so let’s all just cut the crap right there. Fans are upset because his decision meant that a victory for their respective teams became less likely and also because ESPN told them to.

The long and short of it is too many people have no idea how to formulate their own opinions and often allow media personalities and events that have nothing to do with the subject matter to become the subject matter. If you chose not to like someone professionally then it really should be contingent on what they did or didn’t do professionally because quite frankly, that is the only relationship you have with that individual! I don’t like Kevin Garnett because of the way he plays the game. I think he is a dirty player and if I were an NBA player ever to be the unfortunate recipient of one of those errant, flailing jagged elbows, you better believe I am going to try my hardest to punch the big ticket. I may get KTFO,

but I will certainly have a problem based on his actions on the court. Isn’t that how it should be?

Sidebar:“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” Sidebar complete.

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The Reverse Dating Game

Men of New York, the eyes of Marsha are upon us! Fourscore and 7 years ago (give or take eighty years) my NYC brethren and I perused countless bars and clubs in an effort to come away with a phone number (at the very least) for the night. After all, we invested decades honing our approach (“Damn girl, you sexy as hell”), tens of thousands of dollars on hunting tools (vehicles, Gordon Gartrell originals, haircuts including tip), 45 minutes waiting for our ride to the club, and 50 bucks on mojitos and apple martinis so we‘d all be dammed if this effort didn’t result in a number that when entered telephonically, connected us to that sultry temptress of our choosing. Those days seem to be dwindling as the number of available men allegedly dissipates and the numbers of single women multiply. All the anxt that comes with figuring out how to be charming without being cheesy, witty without being likened to Bozo the clown and assertive but not reminiscent of a recently paroled ex con has now become a burden our female counterparts must also bear. It seems the hunter has become the hunted.

In as much as most women detest the idea of initiating contact during a full courting press, there is a slow but begrudging admission that the tides are in fact shifting. There are only so many instances a gazelle legged damsel can adorn her 4 inch stilettos and “freak um” dress only to come away empty handed before she begins to question the natural order of the universe. So what seems to be the quagmire (giggity)? Are all men gay, married, in relationships, digital pimps on social networking sites, too shy to approach women, not financially equipped enough to follow through, overwhelmed by the insane numbers of women to choose from, or just plain tired of rejection? The answer is yes.

The bad news is that change is seldom easily adopted. The main gripes I have heard from chicas regarding the paradigm shift include:

1. Breach of protocol a.k.a “Men are supposed to approach us!”
2. “Men don’t like women that approach them.” (this is a fallacy btw)
3. “Rejection sucks!!” (this is not a fallacy btw)

The good news is that some women are beginning to understand just how difficult it is to approach a stranger and within 15 minutes, leave a favorable and potentially lasting impression. Empathy is a MOFO ain’t it?! Hopefully, women will keep all these complexities in mind the next time they decide to emotionally dismantle some poor schmuck for his social awkwardness.

So now that you ladies are tasked with conjuring up innovative methods of approaching men, I am curious to see what type of female ingenuity lies ahead. Will female construction workers whistle and blow kisses at men with nice butts as they walk by? Will lines like “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” and “Pssst” become customary diction for the female vernacular? Whatever you lovely ladies decide, I will be eagerly awaiting your attempts as a sit at the bar with no money in my wallet waiting for some female to buy me a drink.

Sidebar: Females should keep in mind that the man who has mastered picking up women did not earn his masters degree with you so you may want to be a bit leery of all the guys as smooth as Billy Dee Williams and as interesting as the Dos Equis man. Stay thirsty my friends. Sidebar complete.

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