Wednesday, August 6, 2008

It Was All Good Just a Week Ago

I was jamming to Lil’ Wayne this morning and 3 weeks into the album, I realized I had already grown weary of his latest offering. In addition to the single being remixed almost a millie times (the Jadakiss version, the Jay-Z version, the Barry Manilow featuring Celine Dion extended remix & of course, the Ronald Reagan featuring Gilbert Godfreid dance mega mix), the constant airplay and never ending mediums from which one is exposed is well beyond my realm of consumption. More concerning than over saturation of pop culture is the alacrity in which it becomes antiquated (shit gets old quick fast and in a hurry). It is almost to the extent that 106 & Park’s throwback song of the day has not yet been released but will be available in few weeks when the album debuts.

These fickle practices are well ingrained in society’s modus operandi. I am almost ashamed to make phone calls in public due to the antiquity of my cell phone. I purchased my phone in 2006 and by today’s standards, that is comparable to the Mesozoic era. The phone may as well have a rotary dial that connects directly to the operator (the nasally voiced, available only in black & white, plug the wire in the switchboard to connect your call, actual human operator, circa 1942). I cannot take 13 megapixel photos nor can I download the cure for herpes via You tube. My phone does have tons of amenities however which is what makes the ridicule from my peers all the more absurd. I can take photos (although the mega pixels are worthy of Enzyte), surf the web, text message, and lastly and least importantly, place & receives calls (but mostly it serves as my Tetris battleground). Sidebar; It’s amazing how society has invested so heavily in technology only to be relegated to passing notes in class, which is essentially what text messages are. People send text messages most often when they should be paying attention to the task at hand. Texting while @ the movies, driving, @ work, or at your ex girlfriend’s house while your current girlfriend is returning your text from her ex boyfriend’s apartment. Sidebar complete. Never mind the fact that the phone falls apart exactly one week before the 2 year contract expires. We have grown to accept dispensable products and I am not sure whether the insatiable desire for change drives the market or the three headed monster that is capitalism governs our perceived needs. What I do know is that by the time I am done writing this, I will need a new computer, my windows software will need to be upgraded, and I will have to print on paperless paper.

Worse in my not so humble opinion is when these disposable practice rears its ugly head in the dating arena. I am a heterosexual man in NY and let’s face it, I have more options than I can shake a stick at. Heaven forbid I am gainfully employed, baby momma free, and half way attractive (I am full way attractive by the way in case you were all wondering). Now with all these choices afforded to me, why should I settle down when I can replace anyone who is slightly not to my liking both physically and mentally? Back in my day, your girlfriend had no breasts and a fat ass and you accepted it and smacked her ass frequently and as voraciously as statutory laws permitted. And you liked it! Today, if her eye lashes are not centered, it’s time you start entertaining other options. What reason is there to settle when one has the pick of the litter at all times? But how then am I to locate the ever elusive life partner when all candidates arrive with flaws and a lifetime warranty?

The caveat to all these available choices is choosing when not to choose. Just because the refrigerator is laden with goodies doesn’t mean you eat everything. Just because you can have meaningless sex with multiple partners (and 3 small monkeys in New Guinea) doesn’t mean you indulge. As always, over consumption leads to gluttony which last I checked, remains 100% self destructive. Far be it from me to point the finger however for I am a cog in the matrix and I do play my part well. So the next time you are driving your SUV while texting your other beau on your new I-phone 4G (coming soon), ask yourself; is the solution to my problem obtaining more or appreciating what I already have? I would love to answer personally but I just got a text on my Motorola Boysenberry XJ9 about the new a millie remix featuring Barack Obama and Paris HIlton. Thanks for your time.

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