Thursday, August 7, 2008

Black is the New White

If I may paraphrase the internationally renowned thespian Will Ferrell, “I’m so angry right now”. I am thoroughly incensed by the steady flow of covert racial innuendo being levied against Senator Barack Obama. Seems every opportunist and closet racist in America has geared up to spew acrimony in the name of capital benefit. Tee shirts with monkeys holding bananas, “Obama is my slave” sweatshirts, “Baby momma” references about his wife (Fox News of course), and the now nefarious New Yorker cover are all part of the recent onslaughts. I would personally suggest those responsible for the rampant libeling go fuck themselves with a pre owned condom but that’s just me.

I never believed an African American presidential candidate could be taken seriously in an election. More astonishing is to fathom a blackish man having to defend himself against elitist accusations. Are you fucking kidding me? Nothing but bloodclot multi millionaires have occupied the position of president since the inception of the position of president and now classism takes the forefront? Sans Theresa “Sweet Tomatoes” Heinz - Kerry & Cindy “Barley & Hops” McCain, both of whom are extremely wealthy spouses, I rarely recall affluence being a detriment to the perceived, presumed, presidential candidate elect (maybe). One cannot partake in this mockery of an electoral process without millions upon millions of dollars spent ad nauseum (a seemingly victorious cocktail of campaign contributions and one’s own personal wealth). Don’t know about the rest of you but if millions were at my disposal, I am no longer a commoner. I may be common but the suit is most certainly Armani! News flash; if your multiple income streams afford you the luxuries of a particular socioeconomic class, i.e. the governing 10%, and you indulge in said social practices, you are an elitist. Jay-Z can holla Marcy Projects al dia y todo dia until his lungs collapse but I doubt he still consumes fried bologna sandwiches (take a note kids, the bologna is not ready until it swells and forms the coveted bologna dome in the middle of the pan).

America Inc. was founded by rich guys and for rich guys (est. 1776) so how could anyone vying for the CEO position not be considered an elitist? We have always held these truths to be self evident that all affluent Caucasian males are created equal provided they enslave Africans (update to middle class) for their own financial benefit whilst perpetuating misogynist practices (I made some amendments to the constitution, sue me). Which begs me to ask; “Is Barack’s elitist-ism more apparent considering he doesn’t mirror the image of the prototypical elitist? Loosely translated; who does this zebra think he is running for president of white America?

Be it financial or intellectual, I personally don’t care if the candidate is an elitist. I wouldn’t want to imagine what a layman would be tempted to do with executive privilege. You could very well see a chromed out Air Force One parked outside my next barbeque were I elected president, just to prove to all the haters that I have arrived! And we have all enjoyed the benefits of having a president whose intellectual discourse rivals the children he is not trying to leave behind. My main concern is that said candidate be a realist.

Here’s an innovative notion; How about attacking B.A Barack’s ass on the principles under which he is actually campaigning? I don’t believe most folks are well informed as to his intended policies. We are however familiar with his pastor, his children, his parents, his affinity for basketball, his upbringing, his pet peeves, etc . . . Not really sure if I should vote for him for president or the next American Idol, nor what’s the difference would be.

I guess I should be in full support of Senator Obama. He is African, he is male, he is a Democrat and he plays basketball (were virtually brothers). Honestly though, there is no genetic predisposition to support all things “black” and as such, I have the luxury of individual perspective. Senator Obama is still a politician entrenched in a system predicated on greed, grandular delusions (not a word but it is now), and personal gain. If not by osmosis alone, Barack’s hands are dirty. Let us also not assume that his nomination alleviates Black America’s woes. It is a victory in symbolism only, similar to impaling the moon’s surface with one’s flag pole.

This is not to say that I am a McCain advocate by any stretch of the imagination. In addition to his many polices coinciding with that of the Bush administration (who knew wrong was the new right), his campaign seems inconsequential in comparison to hurricane Obama. Truth be told, I would sooner vote for the Hamburglar (his ideas on anti obesity legislation are quite progressive).

As always, we are down to the lesser of 2 evils. The lesser evil this go round just happens to half belong to the race commonly perceived as evil, rendering said decision more enigmatic for some. Personally, I will vote for Obama and I will feel proud that a black man is in office should he win (I know I contradicted myself but I don’t need that now). I should feel better that the right person for the job is elected and I will should that occur but I would be lying if I didn’t admit some semblance of solidarity.

The beauty of this nation (insert Star Spangeld Banner here) is that we are constantly presented opportunities to trail blaze arenas commonly designated for the status quo. I do hope that Obama mirrors the Eminem phenomena and not the Vanilla Ice example. The raising of any mission accomplished banners post inauguration should be averted however for it will be just the beginning of the Obama bashing. So let the perceived, presumed, first, literally African-American but not quite white Presidential elect bashing begin (maybe)! I hope Barack has G. I Joe, S.H.E.I.L.D, Navy Seals, Bloods, Latin Kings, Attack Force Delta, Oprah, and every other special forces detail at his disposal for it is going to be quite an exciting 4 years.


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