What Men Need!

Fellas, What up?

I checked the room and ain’t no women in here, so I figured we could have some real talk. Remember that post a while back about What Men Want ? Yeah, the shit about food, sex and beer? I caught some lip for that shit, but I had to tell these chicks how to get some Act Right. Can’t have them running around not fulfilling our needs and shit - nam sayin’? Nah mean? Even if they don’t listen, at least they can’t say we ain’t tell them how we felt. But I can’t even front, we’ve been on some bullshit for a minute too, and every time I try to talk to y’all about it, y’all ain’t so receptive so I figured I would write this.

We’ve been through a lot of shit my dudes. Remember when we were struggling to find our place in the world and just decided to stop trying after a while and enjoy the ride? From elementary school until now, it was always a bit shaky but we always managed to get to the next stage. Whether we were sneaking Garbage Pail Kids in class, playing with Transformers in the lunchroom, playing basketball ‘til the sun came up, making up excuses for turning in term papers late as hell, burning it down right before finals and still getting that A, stealing toasted almond ice cream bars out of the lunch room freezer, having to tell you that your girl was a ho and I got proof, beefing with each other for wearing sneakers when the dress code specifically said “Shoes only”, being shitty God parents (do your kids even know who I am?), fighting every single one of them niggas so many times that we ended up being cool with them eventually, being in that strip club that was so nasty, you aint even wanna touch the door handles so you used your feet, knowing that Mike wasn’t shot and killed by accident but not being able to say a word, getting that call about your brother in the middle of the night and wondering what the fuck am I supposed to say to that shit. We’ve been through a lot of shit! and always made it through.

Through all that, I always had your back. But I can’t let you keep fucking up and not say anything about it. You my nigga, and I would hope you do the same for me. What the fuck is you doing son? If you wanna bang mad chicks, smoke, hustle, drink, or whatever, then do you ‘cause truth be told, you aint doing nothin’ the free world ain’t already engaging in. All I’m saying is: where are you going with all that and what are you doing for yourself? Just coasting aint cutting it no more. I don’t know if going back to school is the solution, but I just get the feeling that all the shit we do is for enjoyment purposes and involves spending our bread to make other Niggas rich (even the white Niggas.) I know you got a job, but we both know that 9-5 ain’t you. And if it ain’t what you want to be doing, and you ain’t got no love for it, it is beneath you. If it is what you want to be doing and you are good at it, you should own that bitch! Don’t settle. Find a way out like we did every other situation we came across.

We can do better son. We sat in the park buildin’ on million dollar ideas while rolling gorilla finger sized blunts like it ain’t nothin’. Remember when I said I wanted a helicopter and you said you wanted a car manufacturing company? Not a dealership but a fucking plant! Who the fuck thinks that big? And it ain’t nothin’ but leg work. I’m getting kinda tired of laziness being the only reason we ain’t doing what we said we was gonna do. Not intelligence, not opportunity, laziness. A black man is president. A black man is the highest paid actor in Hollywood. We can’t even blame the establishment no more. WE ARE THE FUCKING ESTABLISHMENT! I know them Niggas ain’t normal but them Niggas ain’t special either!

As for your kids, my dude, what’s really good with that? You really not gonna handle your B.I.? If you invested half the time you spent chasing bitches to handle the kids you made from chasing bitches, trust me, the world would be a better place. Specifically because your kids would stand a better chance in life by having a father present in this fucked up, capitalist, racist, sexist, totalitarian barrio we made for them. 80 percent of boys who ain’t have their pops around end up in the clink at some point. 80 percent! You remember how all them angry dudes in the hood just happen to not have their pops around, but we could never figure out why they was so angry? Your pops was wild and was hardly ever there either, and you hated that shit. Remember?

We don’t even play ball anymore. Aside from the fact that that we don’t visit the doctor, ball was the only exercise we was getting. The court was actually our version of the country club (only they let us in). Plus you know we die early, so we need all the cardio we can get. You know how many jewels we picked up by listening and watching the older cats in the park? Now we are the older cats and what are we doing? We moved out and spend all our time and money in the clubs and the motels. If we took the money spent on 2 flat screens and a Playstation 3, we could probably rent out a gym, run our own youth basketball tournament, & have chicks chase us for being in better shape (and then buy us flat screens and Play station 3’s for Christmas.) I’m just sayin’.

Trust me when I say this, I am not talking to just you. I am talking to me too. You know I got my fair share of shit to deal with. Like I said, we got history so you know I’m fucked up too. Sometimes the best anti-drug message can come from the friendly neighborhood crack head. So take this personally, but don’t take offense. Plus, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t keep it 100 with you? Now stop looking all sad Nigga. Pass me a peanut butter and crack sandwich and tuck those big ass lips in before they get caught in your zipper. We got work to do!